Speaking of Sex…
by Michael Agnew

Communicating frankly about sexuality is difficult. Aside from the embarrassment that can color such discussion, there is often confusion. What is sex? Different people have different answers to even this most basic question. What kinds of behavior constitute sexuality? Does handholding belong in that category? What about furtive glances across a crowded room? When does flirtation cross the line into harassment and when is it just “leading one on”? Sexual negotiations are clouded in conflicting emotions and complex power relationships. With all this fog how can anyone make their own desires clear, let alone understand the intentions of another? This confusion can lead to some humorous or heartbreaking misunderstandings. It can also lead to rape.

In three scenes, Speaking of Sex... tracks six students as they try to untangle the complicated web of sexual miscommunication. It covers the basics: “NO means NO,” but it doesn’t stop there. Speaking of Sex... asks students the questions that help them unravel the complexity. How does language influence attitudes and actions? How can you communicate with a partner who won’t listen? How do you stop the passion when your partner says “NO”? Speaking of Sex... addresses these questions.

Speaking of Sex... is a 90-minute program that is perfect for new student orientation or campus date rape awareness programs anytime during the school year.

The Scenes

• Jessica has been drinking at a Mardi gras party. She’s been flirting with Nick, but should she accept his invitation to go upstairs and “get some more beads”?

• Ben thought their relationship was exclusive. What will he do when he learns that Jen did not?

• When Nicole took Tom back to her room, she just wanted to kiss. He wanted more. Will he abide by her wishes?

Objectives & Discussion Topics

SCENE I: Nick and Jessica at the Party

• Does alcohol effect judgment and control? Is there a link between alcohol and sexual assault?

• What are date rape drugs?

• Do we experience conflicted emotions around sexuality?

• Do we use sexuality to gain acceptance? If so, can we control the results?

• Does language create a rape-prone culture?

• How do you assert your desire if someone isn't listening?

SCENE II: Ben and Jen break up

• How do you know when a relationship is committed? What are the dangers of assuming?

• Do we perceive male and female sexual behavior differently?

• What is the difference between assertive and aggressive communication?

• How do you handle emotional situations assertively?

• What are the elements of assertive communication?

SCENE III: Tom and Nicole at her place

• What is rape? Is it sex or assault?

• What do you do when your partner says "No"?

• Who rapes and who gets raped?

• How can you avoid potentially dangerous situations? Do you always know when you are in one?

• What can you do if you have been sexually assaulted?

Speaking of Sex... asserts that each of us is responsible for our own behavior. It asks students to evaluate their attitudes regarding sex and sexuality in order to clearly articulate their own desires. Finally, Speaking of Sex... teaches methods of assertive communication and encourages honest dialogue as a means of preventing potentially tragic misunderstandings.